Loose Ends – Jina Wallwork

It is difficult to locate a definitive ending, especially when I am attempting to create one. It feels as though I am trying to thread pieces of string, through rain clouds. It ties up nothing other than my time. Am I creating my own delays? I think of stepping forward when the time is right, but I cannot locate the ideal moment. This second is captured by the past before I can fully interact. I do not wish to carry these complications further down my path, because they occupy my time with worry and concern. I hope that I can recognize which tasks need to be completed. I do not wish to extend my own delays, yet I realize that some responsibilities must be dealt with now. Some problems grow with time and while facing their enormity, you can look to the past and locate a moment where they could have been easily resolved. So I need to focus on them now. Do I begin with what is hard or do I begin with what is easy? All that matters is that I begin.

I need to be strong and resist the agendas of others. They have their own obligations, but I cannot prioritize them above my own. How can I assist another if I avoid completion of what is necessary? How can I believe that I have any advice to give, when I cannot demonstrate the resolve to tackle my own problems without distraction? In the past I have watched my life unravel, while I have assisted another with tasks that belong to them alone. With time each task grows larger and I know that I have this moment to tackle them. I must tie up my loose ends.