Moving On by Jina Wallwork

I didn’t make a mistake. Things never worked out as I had planned, although I feel no regret or anger. I look like a fool who makes terrible decisions, yet appearances can be deceiving. I’m filled with courage, and the brave will sometimes appear foolish. I took a risk, and the consequences were not in my favor, but who would I be if I didn’t make the difficult decisions that shaped my life. Unfulfilled, I would feel trapped in circumstances that I didn’t choose. This isn’t embarrassing. I’m always going to be someone who fits uncomfortably behind a label. I’m never going to conform to what other people believe I should do. I have no regrets.

          Why should I blame myself? I take responsibility for my actions, but I know I can’t see every consequence. Why should I blame others? I know their perception is as limited as my own. There are no good choices. I’ve never met anyone who talked about the ideal circumstances of their life and how they were shaped by one good decision. Life isn’t like that. Every choice leads us to joy and sorrow. We do the best that we can in challenging circumstances. We face difficulties because we are human. I made those decisions because it’s my life, and I’m occasionally blessed with the opportunity to shape the direction I’m traveling. There is no space for regret. I will continue to make choices. I will step forward into the future because there is always a new direction. Through every choice, I claim my own life. I yell to the universe that I’m making one flawed choice after another because I can.

          Consequences are irrelevant because I decide. Then I see the next step in my own journey. When someone decides for me, I feel like I’m walking their path instead of my own. I want a future tailored to who I am, so I will make my decisions and face the consequences.

This piece is a companion piece to Regret created in 2015.