Yell – Jina Wallwork

I have made space for you. I’ve listened to your cruel words and accepted your volatility. I’ve created excuses for your behavior when the ones that you provided didn’t seem to be enough. I carried your words long after they had drifted from your memory. I made space for your anger by examining my behavior and ignoring yours. You were never pushed or challenged to obtain self control; instead, I just accepted that you were unable to change. I walked on egg shells while providing a comfortable relationship that gave you no incentive to grow beyond your childish tantrums and tearful apologies. I understand you more than I ever have and it makes me want to scream. I watch myself as I construct another excuse for your behavior, and I yell from the pit of my stomach. Every instinct within me begs that I cease to make space for you.